thoughts of a deviant
  entry created: Thursday 18 September 2003, 7:36am (NZ time)
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Local time:  Wednesday, 3:35pm

Last night I lay atop my car
    and stared up at the sky,
Dreaming at the bright starlight
    and asking myself 'why'.

It's funny how the black and white
    works so well together,
and how grateful of the clear night sky
    I am after bad weather.

It seems that contradiction rules
    it's what we get up for
Thick and thin and up and down,
    the bed and not the floor.

It's funny how to taste the sweet
    you have to taste the sour,
And how to appreciate a minute
    you must endure an hour.

It's funny how a murderer
    can kill the one he loves,
And how we all must go below
    before we rise above.

It's funny how the moon so bright
    can dim the stars around it,
It's funny how the magic lamp
    haunts the man that found it.

It's funny how to be on time
    you first must be late,
And it's hard to know together
    without the separate.

It seems strange that to know it's love
    we must set it free,
And awake at night we wonder
    if it was truly meant to be.

It's contrast that remains the same,
    being sure but still we doubt
For we don't know what we really have
    until we are without.

Last night I stared at crystal stars
    and asked the question 'why',
Then as if to answer me
    a cloud slid across my sky.

So I was bored the other night, and ended up lying on my car roof staring at the dark sky. I started thinking about how 'contradiction is the essence of life', and this is the result. Maybe I can put some guitar chords to it, turn it into a song. Meh.

September. Low season. It's slow. S.l.o.w. This week I only have one day of work. Some cruise ships have cancelled because of Hurricane Isabel (which ended up passing about 200 miles north of us). Here it caused shitty visibility conditions for diving, and lots of high swell and choppy surf, but other than that, not much. (Except leaving me with little money to get by). October is going to pick up, and from December onwards it's going to be mad. I already know that I have a full day's work on Christmas Day. That kinda sucks, but I think we get paid double or something, plus the tips are supposed to be good that day (well, it's not like I'll have anywhere else to go for Christmas anyway).

And it's hot. H.O.T. hot. While I'm typing this I can feel the beads of sweat running down my chest under my t-shirt. (oh yeah, there's a charming mental picture for you all).

So I don't have all that much to do right now. Thank God for cable TV (Discovery Channel is my friend) and my guitar, my stereo and my beach (most of the time I'm the only person on this 2 mile half-oval stretch of sand). I run along the super-soft, sinky sand (what a workout that is) most nights at dusk, with the beautiful Caribbean sunsets creating an amazing fresco above me, and the hazy outline of the Volcano island of Saba (one of the top 5 dive sites in the world) jutting out of the distant horizon. The rhythmic sound of the warm surf washing ashore creates a relaxing background ambience, and I really just feel lucky to be alive.

Even when it's pouring down with rain here (I love to run in this too), it's never a completely grey and depressing sky like back home; rather a big grey cumulus streaking across the sky, and blue skies and other fluffy clouds around it - huge beams of light cutting through the rain. God it's really an incredible sight. I need to start capturing this on film, but I'm positive the awe-inspiring majesty of it all will be lost in the translation. Standing there on the beach, alone, Mother Nature impressing the balls off me, everything else is forgotten. No financial worries. No traffic. No future plans or past regrets.

It's God's way of saying to me "hey, check this out. Life is good".

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